Friday, July 17, 2009

Feeling Blue

Lately I have been in a bit of a funk. A bit melancholy? Do you every slow down just long enough to see how fast time is moving? How you felt like just yesterday you were 16, ok, maybe not 16 but 26? I think previously I have shared about my journey through the world of fertlity treatments, etc. I don't talk about it too much anymore because I have stopped them (it's been years already) and I am moving on. Really, I am. It's just that sometimes things happen, or that baby is right in front of you and, I get sad. I get sad for something that as my life seemingly speeds on towards it's next phase, I will never have. Don't get me wrong, there are great things about my life that I thank God for everyday. But as I woman, some of us have always wanted to have the experience of something that is, as females, what makes us different from men. I think that, for me, anyway, I have always kept that little glimmer of hope in my heart, that maybe, after all the stress of trying so hard, it would, just happen. But, like I said, the next phase of my life is definetly starting, and that glimmer is beginning to fade.

So, what I have done all along is take all my emotions, and knit them into something. Knit, knit, knit. So meditative to me. I think because as I am making each stitch I am either counting, or murmuring knit, purl,knit,purl. And it works for me. It brings me a sense of peace, a sense of focus, a sense of being in this particular moment.

6 comments:

Karen Valentine said...

Hello my bloggy friend! I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. But I know there isn't so I will just say that your scarves are some of the most beautiful I have ever seen and I really want one ! (or two, or three) I can't wait for it to get cold again, when your etsy shop is filled with their warm goodness. I'm so looking forward to seeing your creative space. I have a request... I thought it would be easier for everyone to leave comments if we all turned off comment moderation and word verification during the day (or maybe week) of the party. To do that, go to customize, settings, comments...then scroll down to turn off comment moderation and word verification.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend and a fabulous week. See you next Friday!!

Karen
My Desert Cottage

Becca said...

Thank you Karen, I am looking forward to Friday
Becca

Mountaindreamers said...

life is a roller coaster, up and down, just when you think you are doing a good job, something creeps in to unbalance you. Women will always have a special energy whether they pour their spirits into children, foster children, projects in the community , a business or creating artistic pieces. What makes these things yours? But the love and energy that you give to it.

The Preserve Jewelry Studio said...

Sorry to hear you are feeling blue. I had the privilege of one son and now I fill in the void with pets. The good news is they definitely cost less in the long run than first cars, college tuition and weddings!

markhed said...

Hi Becca!

I just love that last blue scarf!

Gorgeous!

Becca said...

Thank you:) I am feeling much better today!